"Just." Adding "just" to any sentence instantly makes you seem shy and unsure of what you're saying. Qualifying your statement at the end will equally undermine its credibility.Ĭlean speech isn’t window dressing it’s a powerful leadership tool for being heard, influencing others, and, ultimately, getting what you want.
Two months ago, her manager told her she needed to be more assertive. Jackie (not her real name) is a general manager at an IT company and another one of my coaching clients. When you frequently use “I think,” you sound unsure–like you’re trying to establish your competence. “Here’s our competitive analysis” is a statement. Would you please turn down the TV?” is a want.
Distinguish between a want and a statement.When you say “I want to” or “I’d like to,” you may come across as diffident, and listeners may become impatient for what you actually want to say.ĭon’t say, “I want to show you a chart with our competitive analysis.” You can simply say, “Here’s a chart with our competitive analysis.” Gmail users can try the Just Not Sorry add-on to eliminate fillers in their emails. With regular listening, you’ll be able to anticipate when you’re about to filler-ize your sentence and stop yourself.
Keep recording your conversations and notice any progress. Ask a trusted colleague to cue you when they notice you using your favorite filler. Paying attention to too many will distract and frustrate you. If you have a diverse vocabulary of fillers, trash one filler at a time. For instance, if you use “ums” instead of periods at the end of each sentence, visualize the period at the end of the sentence and consciously take a breath instead. Depending on when you use fillers, you might have different antidotes. Do you use fillers throughout your speech or only in particular places? Knowing when you use them can help you understand why you use them. When you play back the recording, count how many fillers you used, noting each type. With permission from the other person, record a conversation. While the occasional filler word is unavoidable ( and may be a sign you’re speaking conscientiously), an abundance of them give the impression you’re uncertain. Most people have embedded their favorite filler word or phrase so deeply into their speech that they don’t notice it anymore. Words such as “you know,” “kind of,” “um,” “ah,” and “er” are fillers because they don’t convey meaning. For example, you could state the purpose of the meeting, “Our purpose today is to ensure the overview matches the goals we set out to achieve.” 2. Prepare your first sentence ahead of time.When you’re addressing a group, you might say something like, “Thank you all for your comments in preparation for this meeting.” When directly addressing one person, instead of saying “So here’s an overview,” say “Jamie, here’s an overview.” It’s the metaphorical equivalent of raising your hand. When you start with “so,” you’re tentatively asking for permission to be heard. Increase your own clarity and look more like a leader by eliminating these four influence killers in your own speech: 1. Saying “so” when you begin speaking. Team members often emerge from meetings with him confused and unsure of what he wanted. Worse, they frequently interrupt him because they worry he’ll waste their time.Įven though Ian is brilliant, visionary, and prolific in his research, he struggles to earn respect as a leader. (I’m changing any identifying information to protect client confidentiality.)Īs you might guess, people tune Ian out because his speech is littered with meaningless fillers. This is how Ian, a director at a scientific research institute, recently started one of our coaching sessions. At what point would you stop listening to a speaker who opens with: “So, OK, I wanted to just briefly, you know, give you an overview, I think …”
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